As a child you may have been sent to your room or made to “sit in the corner” to think about what you did to get you is such a sad position, so usually you were in trouble. While in your room, feeling isolated from all human contact and alone with your thoughts you were supposed to think about what you did, feel sorry for your actions and their consequences, apologize for what you did, make amends for what you did if possible, and promise never to do it again. Or at least that’s what you parents wanted you to do. 

As much as we hated being sent to our rooms it was our earliest training on learning the importance of reflection about ourselves and our actions. These early efforts by the authority figures in our lives to get us to reflect actually laid the foundation and served to teach us the value of pausing to consider, ponder, question, think and reflect all in a critical way about our issues, problems, success, failures, and plans … our lives.

Unfortunately, since this learning was not taking place under pleasant circumstances. So if we participated in the process at all we did it grudgingly, but usually we feigned the response that was expected of us to get out of the circumstances we found ourselves in. This was also an early form of enlightened self interest … so that we could get back to our agenda, whatever we were doing before we were interrupted by this unreasonable demand to “think about what you have done”. Those demands placed upon us may be part of the reason so few people take the time to reflect and think about their lives, actions, and careers as adults. We don’t do it because it’s not easy, not fun, and we don’t see the benefit in doing it.

How does this relate to career development? In any part of life, but especially in career development efforts, critical reflection is an essential part of your development plan. After you draw up your plan and have begun the implementation and have worked the plan for a while you need to pause and take some time to reflect on what you are doing. You need to set aside time periodically and examine your plan, your progress in implementing it, and your overall effectiveness in making it work.

The reason for this critical reflection is not only to check on your progress, to see how far you’ve got, but to also to tweak the plan and make any adjustments needed to enhance your development plan. You need to ask yourself questions like “What’s working?”, “What’s not working?”, “What do I need to do more of?”, “What do I need to do less of?”, “Do I have the resources I need to execute my plan?”, “Who do I need to network with to help further my goal?” “What are the implications if I take this action as opposed to that action?”. By asking these and other critically reflective questions you can sharpen your plan and continue to update your execution strategy. By exercising the disciple of critical reflection you can make your plans better and improve your chances for success.

In order to do this type of deep thinking and to be able to critically reflect upon your current state you need to get way from distractions of the day to day and concentrate, to focus on the task. A friend of mine refers to this as “going to the mountain top”. This simply means that you take the time to get away from the noise and distractions of your daily life so that you can concentrate on the task at hand. This may mean that you need to remove yourself physically from other people and distractions for an extended period of time so that you can be alone with your thoughts and think. If actually removing yourself for periods of time is not possible, it may mean that you purposely set aside time on a daily basis to reflect upon and examine your plans and progress, on what you have done and what you need to do. However you do it is not important. That you do it is imperative!

There is a certain discipline that is needed for this. As a child your parents brought pressure to bear in an attempt to force/ coerce/ make you think about what you had done. Now, as an adult, no one has the authority to pressure you or demand that you reflect on what you have done and how you do it. You have to demand it of yourself. And you do it because you realize it is in your own best interest to do so.

There is no doubt that we live in an age where we expect everything instantly, on demand, and now, and usually get it that way. If a page on our computer loads too slow we get inpatient, if we can’t get some purchase from some distant place to our door in a few days or overnight we get annoyed at the thought of having to wait. Phone conversations, too much bother just text and use abbreviations to save space… and do it quickly. The quicker, the faster, the shorter amount of time it takes us to get what we want … the better. In many instances there is nothing wrong with wanting things now, except that it begins to set up those same expectations in other parts of our lives. I can become really problematical when we carry this demand for urgency in to the area of career development and advancement.

Much has been written about the impatience of Gen X and Gen Y in the workplace. This article is not about the impatience of a particular generation, members of Gen X and Gen Y certainly do not have a monopoly on wanting quick advancement or instant gratification. Rather, this article is about the impatience you may feel when it comes to your career development and your advancement in the workplace.

In my coaching practice I often come into contact with those who are impatient about the progress they are making in their careers. These individuals feel that opportunities to advance just do not come quickly enough, promotions do not happen fast enough, and the job offers for particular positions are few and far between. Living in an on demand society with instant gratification the norm, and having an overinflated view of their own skills and abilities leads them to frustration.

What you must understand is career development and advancement in the workplace is not subject to our “on demand expectations” or the “instant gratification” that we are used to.  Neither should career development be treated as an “impulse buy”, done on the spur of the moment because we think it the right thing to do in order to get what we want, like the stuff kept by the cash register to take advantage of our impulses to see it- want it- buy it- have it … in a matter of seconds.

Career development or advancement takes thought and planning to achieve and time to accomplish. There are no “quick fixes” or “hurry ups”. Careers cannot be made in a microwave.  Development for advancement, which is really preparation for advancement, can’t begin when you see the position you want advertised. You cannot treat it as an afterthought and expect it to be there when you want it. Development, to be effective cannot be treated as an impulse buy. It needs to begin long before that.

How long? Hard to say and no one can really answer that. As long as it takes to gain the skills, knowledge, and experience you need to become a good candidate for the job or the promotion you want. I can’t tell you how long your development will take but I can tell you when it begins. It begins NOW.

Quick results come only to the prepared. Individuals who have the fore thought to grow and develop, to pursue learning and grow their skills will be the ones who see the quickest results. Career Development and the advancement … and rewards that follows come around most quickly to you if you have prepared, pursued, and practiced for them. Need help with creating your career plan and developing a plan for advancement?
Contact: Emmett@nextmovecoaching.com

The truth about the gnosis of success is this … there is no gnosis of success. What individuals need to be successful, to give them the edge, to help them obtain the goal they seek is not a secret. It can be readily learned if they are willing to apply themselves and look for it. It is everywhere. There is a plethora of books, articles, blogs, coaches, and mentors that can all tell you what you need to know in order to be successful at work or in life. The information is out there, it is readily available. The gnosis of success is not hidden, it is not a secret, the knowledge of what it takes to be successful is available to all who seek it and are willing to apply it.

So the first step is to actively seek out that knowledge. You’ll need to read; you’ll need to talk with others about their experiences; you’ll need to attend presentations, lectures and classes. Then you will need to pause and reflect on what you have been exposed to. You will need to look for the learning and how it applies to your particular situation. All that takes time, it takes effort. It does not happen overnight. Part of the secret of success is Preparation.

The second step to success in any endeavor is to Plan. Failure to thoughtfully plot your next steps is a sure way not to succeed. Your planning should begin with the end in mind. Envision what your success will finally look like. Then ask yourself what steps you must take to achieve that success. Be very specific in thinking about and then listing those steps in writing.  Plan not only the steps that need taken but also identify and plan to obtain the resources you will need to successfully implement your plan.

The third and most important step in your success is Execution, the doing. The truth of the matter, and the reason that many people are not successful in obtaining their goals or making their next move, is that they just do not execute. They are not willing to put, as the old saying goes, “their noses to the grind stone and their shoulders to the wheel.” It is not the knowledge, the technique, the phrase, or even the execution of a single particular task that leads individuals to success; it is just plain old fashion hard work that leads to success. Hard work, combined with excellence in the execution of your plan is what will give you the edge you seek. You see, hard work is needed but it must be quality effort that is put forth, that is what makes people successful in accomplishing their goals or obtaining what they set out for.

Everyone is looking for an edge, the inside track, that little extra knowledge or technique that will put them over the top. The truth is the “gnosis of success” is hard work. Your success will only come about when the desire you have is combined with a plan for action and then carried out with an excellence in its execution.

In my practice as a consultant, trainer, and coach I have often had to address the subject of “Diversity”. It has been my experience that, when asked to consult or train on the topic and even in coaching situations, when people talk about “diversity”– the need to appreciate it; the need to value it—they really have no idea what they are asking for.

What invariably comes up are the issues of Racism, Stereotypes, Ethnocentrism and Political Correctness. In my opinion you cannot handle the topic of “diversity” appropriately unless you are going to take a long hard look at all these issues with an open mind.

In discussing, with my clients, their “needs” around diversity what often times becomes clear is this: they are not interested in “diversity”, true diversity, what they want is “political correctness” If that is what they settle on and I cannot move them off that idea I end the relationship with the client. To put it bluntly I don’t do “politically correct” and neither should you.

 If however, the client is willing to explore the elements of diversity and desires to move towards a better understanding of true diversity, I’m willing to work with them on the subject and assist them in the implementation diversity initiatives in their organizations or, in the case of coaching clients, their lives.

When dealing in the realm of diversity whether in large or small businesses or private coaching session with individuals I try to educate them to define their terms to avoid confusion and so that they can gain an appreciation for the depths of the issues.

Defining the Terms

Diversity is, simply put, being different. In the realm of people it is the recognition or acknowledgment that people are different. There should be no value judgment in the term “diversity”. Different is just different, no better, no worse, just different.

Any other definition of diversity, in my opinion, is over reaching.

Racism is defined as, the belief that people of different races have different qualities, traits and abilities that are inherent to the individuals of that race and that some of these races are inherently superior or inferior because of the qualities, traits and abilities.

Racism as used today almost always implies animosity and/or hatred toward other races.

Stereotype is defined as, an overbroad generalization or portrayal of a group of individuals that is usually based on traits, behaviors, attitudes or other observable actions.

This over generalization is usually due to a lack of information, misinformation, mischaracterization or misunderstanding of one or more of the behaviors or traits attributed to the group to which the individuals belong.

Looks, dress, cultural activities, foods, recreational activities, religion all play a roll in the development of stereotypes.

 Ethnocentrism is defined as, the assumption/belief that my/”our” way of thinking and acting is naturally superior to any other.

When we believe that the actions, traditions, culture, or whatever else our ethnic group or “our group”(whatever that group is) practices is superior to another group, we then see ourselves and our culture as the measure of what is right, good and desirable.

Politically Correct being defined as: conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend someone’s political sensibilities (as in matters of sex, race, or anything else) should be eliminated. (politically correct. (2009). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.)

With the terms out in the open you can begin to have a frank and honest discussion about the issues that you are facing.

What many people mistake for racism is actually stereotyping or ethnocentrism. I’m not saying true racism doesn’t exist, it does. However, what usually comes in to play is not racism. The tenants of racism are provably false and should be rejected by every human being. When it comes to stereotypes and ethnocentrism the issues are more complicated and require a good deal of honesty and discussion to bring them out and clear the air.

Stereotypes have their basis in observation. The behaviors, attitudes, and actions of a person or group of people are observable. The problem that arises is twofold.

First, the observation is run through the perceptions of the individual making the observation which are often colored by their own ethnocentric beliefs. This leads to the filtering of all that observed information through a culture mindset and practices that may not understand what it is observing and lead to faulty conclusions.

The second problem is with the application. Individuals that stereotype other use a broad brush to apply their understanding of an entire group, class, or ethnic band and thereby cover the whole group. Instead of limiting their conclusions to the sampling of the person/group they observed they apply their conclusions to the entire class of individuals they believe belong to that group.

Those who make use of stereotypical thinking and those who decry the use of stereotypical thinking fail to realize that actions, attitudes, and behaviors are often culturally based. It is not always a rejection of the people of a race or an ethnic group in part or as a whole, it is the culture of that group with its norms, values, beliefs, and behaviors that are being rejected. This is not racism it is ethnocentrism.

When ethnocentric thinking is practiced on a marco scale we will tend to think that all cultures are inferior to our culture (beliefs, values, norms, and behaviors). After all if we didn’t think our culture was the best we wouldn’t practice those things …would we? And if our way is the best all other ways are “inferior”, and if those ways are “inferior” then the people that follow those ways are also “inferior” in some way. So those who would decry ethnocentrism on a macro scale, who consider themselves more enlightened, strive to reach the moral high ground by denouncing it and advocate that diversity demands that we appreciate the “differences” and accept all cultures … but wait.

We all tend to practice ethnocentric thinking on a “micro” scale. We all grew up with certain family traditions around vacations, holiday celebrations, birthday, etc. If the “traditions” were good ones, that is if they were enjoyable to us, we tend to keep them and look at other who don’t practice them or won’t adopt them as “unenlightened” and perhaps even a little culturally “poorer” for it.

No one escapes ethnocentric thinking. On some level everyone believes their “culture” is superior in some way to the cultures of other. Doubt me? Consider this.

• How do you view the “diverse” cultures in Africa that excise the clitoris of young girls, the practice of which is carried out in the name of social, cultural, and religious reasons? Do you really see those cultures that practice female genital mutilation on par with yours?
• Do you really believe the Muslim cultures that demand that women be covered from head to toe in order to avoid the sexual temptation of men and that demands those women play a subservient role to men to be just as good as yours?
• Do you consider those cultures that allow, even encourage or accept honor killings of females that have “disgraced” or “dishonored” the family just as acceptable as yours?
• How about the culture that allows 60 year old men to take multiple wives or 14 year olds as brides, are you accepting of that culture?

Aren’t those cultures just as good as yours? Shouldn’t they have equal footing and protection like yours? Odds are that you don’t and if you do you have real issues you need to address … immediately.

The logical conclusion of those who hold that “in diversity we find our strength” and that “our differences should be valued” often fail to consider the seamier side of what their position on diversity demands. Those proponents of diversity, to be consistent, must accept it all, value it all equally, and encourage it all.

My points are simple:

• We all form stereotypical thoughts and we often laugh at stereotypes because many of them are funny. Comedy routines are regularly based on stereotypes about how certain individuals or groups of individuals act or behave. Black, White, Asian, Indian, male, female, teeny boppers, senior citizens, jock, cheerleaders, frat boys, lawyers, the list goes on and on and all are targets for stereotypical thinking.
• Everyone practices ethnocentrism on some level. We all think we are beliefs, customs, and social mores, are superior to another’s, at least on some level. That does not make you evil. That does not make you a racist.
• The appeal for a type of diversity that “accepts” and “appreciates” all cultures is ill conceived and not practiced even by its most ardent proponents. When it is, it will lead to no values, no sense of right or wrong, with everything accepted for the sake of “diversity”. Pray that day never comes.

It is an individual’s values and beliefs that make up their culture. Culture is an indicator of how people will tend to behave or act. Cultural norms help to give individuals identity, are often deeply held, and are not easily given up. Understanding these things can help both individuals and businesses to function effectively in a “multicultural” environment.

What to learn more about true diversity contact Emmett@nextmovecoaching.com

Career Coach: Compass or GPS?

One symbol widely adopted in the coaching community is the compass. It is a fitting representation of the role the coach plays in the development of the client.

The compass is a wonderful tool to use in gaining a sense of what direction to move in and when used properly is very reliable under most circumstances. The same is true of the coach. Through listening, questioning, and sometimes suggesting new ways of looking at things the coach can assist the client to gain or regain a sense of direction for their lives and careers.

The compass in the hands that know how to use it can help you determine bearings and headings. It can point you in the direction you want to go. When you’re lost it is a valuable tool to get you pointed in the right direction and keeps you on course. Again, the same is true of the coach. Once a direction is determined by the client the coach can assist the client in further refining the direction and steps needed to get moving, keep moving, and finally arrive at their desired destination.

A GPS on the other hand is the device of preference these days for the traveler.  Plug in the information, the city, the street, the number and viola! Instant directions! Exact directions! Complete with the visual of a map, voice narration, and instructions on where and when to turn. Hard to get off course with one of these babies but if you do you’ll hear the device say “recalculating route” and soon your put right with visual and audio cues all adjusted to your route. Nice! And when, at long last I come to my destination it tells me I have arrived!

The comparison is stark. The compass, a centuries old mechanical device that was one time considered magical or a 21st century electronic gadget that makes use of satellites, triangulation, and other technology most of us don’t really understand. I know when given the choice I want to take the GPS on the road trips I take. The GPS is exact, precise, calculatingly keeping me on the straight and narrow even if the little voice seems unforgiving at times. The GPS adjusts to my errors in navigation and puts me back on course every time in ways designed to get me to my destination as quickly and directly as possible. It is user friendly and fairly idiot proof.

Sometimes our clients want a GPS for their career development tool. Clients who do not understand the coaching process or the idea of career development come to the coach seeking GPS like services. They desire exact direction, precise step by step instructions on what they should do and how they should go about doing it. As a coach it is sometimes tempting to provide them the direction they seek but that would be of no services to them. The coach must resist the temptation to be directive and instead help the client to discover for themselves what direction and course they should set for themselves.

For career coaching I’ll take the compass every time.
The compass is not as exacting, not as precise.  With the compass there are no precise directions on where to turn and when to turn just the steady pointing of a needle that indicates the direction of magnetic North. Certainly not the accuracy of a GPS but accurate enough to keep you on course once you have an idea of the direction in which you want to go. The route the compass gives is more general. It will allow you to suddenly veer off course if you wish to do so or to slowly drift off course if you choose not to refer to it on your journey, all without correcting you. But still it always maintains the accuracy of the direction you had set for your original course.  The compass is not prescriptive like the GPS; it does not say “do this, then do that, now do this” and tell you that you have arrived at your destination. The function of the career coach is to be more like a compass than a GPS.
Coaching, when at its best, is or at least should be more like the compass than the GPS. Your coach should work to help you discover the general direction of your destination but you need to determine where that destination lay and how best to get there. Certainly it is the function of the coach to help you discover the destination you desire but the choice of destinations is yours. No coach or assessment tool can be the final arbiter of the direction in which you should move in your career. There should not be the prescriptive “do this and then do that” coming from the coach on which you peg the hopes of your career. The coach is there to point the way, keep you on course, help you develop a plan and a direction, and provide a measure of accountability not to give you turn by turn instructions on your career. Why? Two reasons really.

First, you are an individual, immensely complicated, and unique. Like every other individual you should not be prescribed to a career direction, you should be assisted to discover it. There is no such thing as “one size fits all” in career development. There can be no prescriptive method that works for every person, every time, which will deliver them to their career destination.

Second, and more importantly, it is your responsibility to figure it out. It is your life, your career, your happiness and fulfillment at stake. By putting forth the effort to determine your destination, to plan the route, to make the journey, to make the adjustments along the way and then to finally decide if and when you have arrived at the destination you planned you take control of your career and your life. Chances are you’ll be more satisfied with the outcome.

Many times clients, acting out of frustration, will say “Just tell me what I need to do to …. get the promotion … get the job I want … get ahead on the job …” They want GPS like direction for their careers or lives. They want turn by turn instructions on how to get them to their destination. They want “to arrive” in the shortest time possible, over the shortest distance possible, with as little planning as possible. And while, as a coach, it is tempting just to tell them what they need to know to relieve their anguish that is not the role or function of the coach.

The coach, like the compass, is a tool for you to use in your career development. The coach can point you in the right direction and keep you on course if you choose to use him/her for the purpose they were intended and in the way they were designed to be used. The journey however is up to you. It falls to you to determine, to plan, to conduct, and to finally it bring to fruition. And when you have “arrived” at your destination the coach will be there waiting and pointing to the possibilities that await you beyond the place where you have “arrived”.

Fairy Godmother or Fearless Leader

I have always liked using physical objects to illustrate my points. So in the photo attached to this article you will no doubt be able to recognize these two characters.  They come from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. If you’re too young to remember you’ll need to do a little research on the ‘net or better yet get the collections of the show on DVD and watch them. The “fairy” or “Fairy Godmother” is from the Fractured Fairy Tales portion of the show. The rather stern looking chap is “Fearless Leader” the hardnosed boss of the villains Boris Badanov and Natasha Fatale who were constantly seeking to cause trouble for our heroes “moose and squirrel”.

I’ve spent time in the management ranks and have experienced the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” that all managers have when dealing with staff. After many conversations with staff, experimentation on keeping staff “engaged” (read happy), and much reflection on all those experiences and interactions I’ve come to the considered opinion that your staff will see you in either one of two ways. You will either be seen as the kindly and benevolent “fairy godmother” type or you will be seen as the dictatorial, unreasonable “Fearless Leader” type.

Consider this. If you are good and kindly, not holding them accountable for high standards; granting them passes on regularly coming in late or leaving early; if you overlook their screw-ups and only give positive reinforcement or lavish praise on them for the smallest things done right; if you are seen as their “friend” and not eyed by them as an obstacle you become the “granter of wishes” i.e. their “fairy godmother”. You will be a harmless benevolent being whose purpose it is to serve them by granting their wishes—the desires of their hearts… in this case an easy set of circumstances at work that bends to their wished and desires.

 However, if you are business like, have high expectations of them and hold them to those expectations; if you ask them why they are late or question too closely their desire to leave early yet again; if you hold them accountable for their performance or lack thereof; if the feedback you give is not all positive and you hurt their feelings or offend their sensitivities; if you fail to notice and recognize even their smallest accomplishments and praise them lavishly for it; if you are “the boss” and not their friend; if you dole out punishment as a consequence of their actions;  if you are in some way an obstacle to their happiness—you are the unappreciative and mean, nasty, and oppressive S.O.B.—you are “Fearless Leader”.

Oh, your staff may not readily admit to their view of you but you can bet that these views are harbored by most anyone with a boss. It does not speak ill of your staff it speaks to human nature. We all tend to think in kinder terms of those who let us have our way and less so of those who stand between us and what we want.

But you may say “Isn’t that a rather simplistic if not jaded view of how employees see their supervisors and managers?”.  Or you may say “That way of thinking smacks of the old X and Y Theory of management”. You may be right … but that doesn’t make my observation wrong.

 In this day and age where employers chase “Best Places to Work Awards”; implement 360 degree evaluations as a “best practice”; conduct pulse surveys to see what their employees are thinking about a topic on a given moment; where Human Resource departments are concerned about creating workplace cultures that are “inclusive” and “employee friendly”, and fret over their ability to recruit the “right talent” and keep them “engaged” so they  don ‘t pick up their marbles and leave managers are increasing being nudged into the “fairy godmother” role.  This is especially true for managers that must deal with the later Gen X and Gen Y employees or where employees have developed a sense of entitlement and lack a realistic view of how the workplace functions.

You must be able to manage in the way your company wants you to manage. But in reality you cannot be all things to all people … so don’t even try. Just know that their perceptions of you will change as you either grant or deny their “wishes”.  As a manager in the types of organizations cited above you will be pressured to conform. You must be true to yourself. Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses as a manager. Be aware of your flaws; find ways to either overcome them or compensate for them. You should seek to build the skills and competencies it takes to mange effectively. But remember just as you need to seek ways to communicate, inspire, and manage each individual employee on your staff and move them toward top performance, just as you must adjust to them, your employees will have to adjust to you. The smart ones know that.

In your management career you will be a mix of both “Fairy Godmother” and “Fearless Leader”. Sometimes you will be both at the same time. But those views are just a matter of perception. Manage those perceptions to your benefit. Be yourself, always look towards improving your management skills, and take on both the Fairy Godmother and Fearless Leader roles as you need to. You can use them both to your advantage.

Gambling with Your Career

Gambling can be a fun and exciting proposition if you have an adventurous spirit and a tolerance for risking your assets. There are those brave souls that venture into the casinos, gaming halls, and private games that find the risk taking involved thrilling. They don’t mind the fact that the odds in every game favor the house and not them. These armature gamblers don’t mind the “sucker bet”. They fearlessly go against the odds in the hope that “lady luck” will smile on them. They get an adrenaline rush; their pulse quickens, the excitement builds for them from the thought of going against the odds, making a long shot and beating the house.

But the professional gambler does not trust in “luck”.  When playing against the house the professional knows that the odds are against them. To play and play well in this arena the professional prepares. here is no “chance”. There is only skill. The professional plays the odds. They calculate the odds of their game of choice. They bet with intentionality. They watch each move carefully.

When playing against other gamblers the professional players track the cards played and look for “tells” from other players that might give them an edge in the game or insight into how others play it. They take all this information, formulate a plan, and play the game accordingly.

Your career development is a lot like gambling if you are not intentionally, actively, calculating your best moves and managing your career.

What can you do to eliminate the “gamble” and increase your odds of winning? Here are five things to get you started.
•  Assess where you are now and where you want to be in your career
       o Reflect on what you have to offer an employer
       o Assess yourself and your potential
       o Develop a plan to get you where you want to be
•  Keep your skills and your resume updated so you are ready when the opportunity comes
       o Plan for your professional development
       o Seek out learning opportunities and training
       o Become a Life Long Learner & look for the learning in every experience
•  Network, Network, Network
       o Re-establish contact with past friends, co-workers, clients, etc
       o Nourish your network
       o Strengthen your network by investing in it
•  Promote your product; promote yourself
       o Establish your Brand
       o Protect your Brand Reputation
       o Develop your “elevator speech”
       o Practice interviewing skills
• Work with a Professional
       o Establish a relationship with a Career Coach
       o Resume Writers
       o J ob Center Staff
       o Find a Mentor

Don’t gamble with your career like an amateur.  Where your career is concerned don’t leave things to “luck” or “chance”. Instead, be a professional. Understand what you’re up against; calculate the odds against you, look for opportunities to take the advantage, manage your career like a professional.
Contact us for assistance in turning from “career amateur” to “career pro”.

The Balanced Life

Work-Life Balance is a hot topic in today’s hectic workplace. Is there such a thing as work-life balance? I don’t particularly like the term. I find that using the term “work-life balance” tends to lead to a dichotomy in the minds of people, as if work and life are two diametrically opposite concepts. They are not. There is not work distinctly set apart from life, or more precisely, the rest of your life there is only Life with work as one aspect of it that must be kept in balance with all the other aspects or parts of your life.

While I may be a proponent of the idea of work-life balance as it is traditionally expounded, I do however strongly believe and coach “Life Balance”. As the term indicates, my contention is that we need to think in terms of life in its totality, life as a whole, the sum of all that parts that make it up. Work is part of life and does not stand alone outside of it, or worse in opposition to it. As part of this view I contend that our lives, while being made up of many roles or parts, should not be and cannot be compartmentalized in to separate little boxes or individual domains.

Your life consists of many parts or many roles most of which you perform at the same time. You are a parent, spouse, child, employee, employer, a sibling, a community leader, church leader, a volunteer, co-worker, and on and on the roles go. They all add up to your life. To be happy, to find contentment, you need to find the balance between all those roles in your life and not just “work” and the rest of your life.

In a society and culture that tells us we can “have it all” trying to balance the demands of work, family, and all your other commitments is a real challenge. The more roles we play in our lives the more hectic they become. The more we take on because we can’t say “no” … for whatever reason … the greater the possibility that our life will come off its axis and spin out of control. The truth of the matter is that very few of us, if any, can “have it all”. Each of us has our limitations. Whether we care to admit it or not we cannot do everything and be everything to everyone. The first step towards achieving a balanced life is to face or own limitations.

The balance you will find and the contentment that balance brings will be determined by how your values and how you relate those values to each part or role that you play in your life. The more value you place on a certain aspect of your life the more time you will tend to spend on that aspect.  There is one simple rule that governs this: We tend to spend our time indirect proportion to the value we place on that aspect of our life. More simply put, you will spend the majority of your time on the things that are most important to you. There is no escaping this. There are no “ifs”, no “ands”, or “buts”. You have heard the old saying that “actions speak louder than words”. It is especially true in this area. Our actions will always either align with or betray our words and indicate what is important to us.
The roles we play in our lives do not consist of equal parts. The circumstances of our lives do not allow for us to give equal weight and balance to each of those roles, nor should we. Our priorities change, circumstances change, at different points in our lives the different parts of it will take on greater or lesser importance. Recognize that fact, Acknowledge that it is true for you, and then use it to adjust your thinking and build toward balance.

I have two illustrations to help you with this.
The first, cooking, will illustrate how we use proportionality to achieve the desired results. When you gather the ingredients for a recipe or dish you wish to prepare you don’t use equal amounts of all the ingredients do you? You use more or less depending on the recipe or adjust for your personal taste or preferences or for a number of other factors. A pinch of this, a dash of that, cups full of something else. A little more of one, a little less of another all blended to your liking. You use each ingredient in proportion to the desired outcome. You are free to adjust the ingredients to your own taste or liking but add too much of one or not enough of another and you run the risk of overpowering the other ingredients and ruining the dish. However, when all the ingredients are proportionately and skillfully blended together and allowed to cook you come up with a dish that is tasty and a good blend of all the ingredients that you used. When done properly the dish is in balance, no one ingredient is overpowering the whole dish.

The second illustration an exercise you can do alone or with the help of a coach, is more visual and uses a common business illustration, the pie chart. In this exercise you construct a pie chart of your life of a “Life Chart”. To begin to develop your Life Chart first, list all the roles you play or aspects that make up your life. Make it as long as you need to. Break it down anyway you want, after all, it your life. Next either draw or visualize a large circle on a piece of paper. Start to dissect that circle as you would a pie. Slice it up in as many pieces as you need to and assign each of those roles you listed into their own slice. Next, think, reflect on how much time you spend on each of those areas or roles and assign a percentage that reflects the total amount of time that you spend on them but remember, 100% is the limit. Now, go back and number each slice starting at 1 for the highest priority and continue in descending order of priority until all the slices numbered. When you are finished, if you have been honest with yourself and assessed things properly, you will have a visual image of how balanced your life is.

A balanced life is the thing that many dream of, long for, and strive to achieve. The good news is that it can be achieved and maintained if nurtured. The balanced life can also be restored if it becomes unbalanced if you are willing to work at it though self examination, prioritization, and implementation.

Need help achieving that balance? Contact Emmett at Emmett@Baxendell.com.

These clients usually have a story of at least one time (usually several) where they were passed over for a promotion or lost a job opportunity to individuals they “knew” were (or perceived by them) as less skilled or less technically excellent than themselves. What they failed to realize was that “the race is not always to the swift … er… skilled”. These individuals have failed to understand what employers’ are looking for when they hire and promote individuals.

Equally surprising to individuals who sacrificed and strove to gain a degree in their adult years is the idea that the degree they worked so hard to get may not make them the attractive candidate they see themselves to be. Listen, all education is worthwhile. The pursuit of a degree is generally a good thing and I believe that all adults should be life long learners”. While I would not discourage anyone from pursuing a degree the bachelors, masters, or doctorate may not open the doors you think it will and may not be the deciding factor for the potential employer. There are other things, more important things that potential employers will be looking for.

There was I time in my management career when I did a lot of interviewing and hiring for staff positions. Whenever conducting interviews I always looked for skilled people but there were other attributes I wanted in the people I hired. At times, I intentionally hired people with fewer skills than those who had an abundance of skills in the technical aspects of the job. Why hire the less skilled? Simply put, sometimes they were the best candidates for the position.

 What was my reasoning for this? Simple really, as your manager I can always invest in your knowledge and skills. You can be sent to classes, provided with training, attend seminars and workshops to increase your knowledge base or get you up to speed on things. But your teachability, manageability, and attitude already came with you as a function of your personality and emotional maturity. I can’t send someone to class for that. It would take too long, if it could ever even happen, to try and get you where I need you to be in these critical areas and the potential harm that could come to my team in the meantime was not worth the risk. The philosophy was simple, “Hire attitude, train skills”.

The experienced hiring manager, when looking for someone to add to their team, is looking for more than skills.  They are looking for the best possible match for their team or department. Yes, that is a very subjective judgment that must be made but it is a critical one. Hiring managers, the wise ones any way, are looking for the well rounded individuals not the one sided individuals. Yes, they are looking for skills and education, but also for individuals with at least three other traits. They are looking for someone who is teachable, manageable, and with a great positive attitude.

To be teachable means that you are accepting of and are willing to learn new ways and methods of doing things. You realize that despite you great knowledge and skills you still have things to learn. You must be open to laying aside your ways and methods in favor of others. You must be willing to try and explore new things and not think or express a superiority of you skills until you have proven them. You must be willing to change.

To be manageable means that you can accept direction, will follow instruction willingly and often without questioning the reasons or authority of your manager. It also means that you “keep your nose clean” and don’t participate in the “office dramas” that can be divisive to your workgroup or team.  To convincingly portray this skill is no small feat for individuals who believe that their skills and knowledge are superior to their team members and/or their managers. If you are one of those individuals that feel they have something to say on most every issue and also feel some inner compulsion to have to share it, then your manageability is in doubt. I’m not suggesting that you become some kind of  “yes man” of withhold your input but knowing when to do and how to do it is what gets you considered manageable.

Attitude is more ethereal and harder to describe but everyone knows a good attitude from a bad attitude when they see it. To possess a positive attitude is to project a “can do” mind set in both your words and your deeds. This is what all good managers want to add to their team. That positive attitude can be infectious when supported and rewarded and managers will reward it. Managers don’t like, don’t need and don’t want negativity on their team and will avoid hiring individuals they perceive as potentially risks because of their attitudes. Just as a positive attitude can be infectious, it is doubly true that an individual with a “bad attitude” can bring a team down and potentially destroy it. Good managers know that and hire accordingly. A smiling, easygoing, up-beat persona helps to project a positive attitude and gets the managers attention.

Technical skills, yeah, you need them. You need “mad skills” and you need them in abundance but equally important if not more important are those other things that make you a good hire, teachability, managability, and a great attitude. Many times they will make the difference between getting a job offer and being passed by. Time for self examination,  how teachable and manageable are you … really? Oh yeah, and what about that attitude?

Manager as Chess Master

Growing up I always enjoyed the game of checkers. It was easy to learn and easy to gain at least a modicum of mastery over the strategy involved in playing the game. It was basically a game of attrition. Take all of your opponents men and you win. Even if you played with a different version of the rules you could quickly adjust your strategy because all your pieces and the pieces of your opponent moved the same. I learned quickly, became quite good and lost very few times.

A younger brother introduced me to the game of chess. A game I had always shied away from because I felt it was too complicated, too difficult to learn, and took too long to gain any mastery over whatsoever. It was a game, not of attrition but strategy. You didn’t try to lay waste to your opponent’s forces you tried to outmaneuver them. The pieces were all different, they moved in strange ways, and it wasn’t as predictable. I learned the peices, learned the moves, practiced my play, gained some level of skill, and my brother refused to play me any more.

One of the early lessons I learned when I first entered the management arena was the need for the effective use of your human capital, your staff. It is key to the success of the manager, the employees, and the enterprise. To be an effective manager you need to maximize your human capital by using them to their maximum potential for which they were intended (hired for). Knowing their capabilities and limitations enables you to place them in positions where they are most likely to be effective and where you can protect from their limitations and thus use them efficiently and effectively to accomplish your goals. You can think of this in terms of a board game. Think chess or checkers.

In checkers all the pieces have the same value, move the same way, are all vulnerable the same way, are all limited in the same way … until they reach the back row of the opponent and are “crowned (promoted) to “kings” .  At that time they take on new abilities and powers and are considered to be more valuable.

And so it is in the workplace. If an employee manages to run the gauntlet of his daily responsibilities, do it well, ward off the threats and attacks from his opponents in the workplace, he/she is eventually rewarded by some form of advancement or promotion and takes on more value. But the similarities end there. People are infinitely more complicated.

In chess all the pieces are not created equal. They have different values assigned to them. Some are worth more than others, some less than others. Their usefulness is determined by the ability they have to move, block, and threaten. The chess master knows how to use his pieces in ways that showcase their strengths and hide or minimize their weaknesses while accomplishing the goal of the game, the capture of the opponent’s king. The chess master uses his pieces in combination to complement their strengths and support their weaknesses in order to achieve the greatest effectiveness.

And again, so it is in the workplace. Each employee has a value relative to the cause/assignment/ goal of the manager but each employee’s value is different based on their skills, knowledge, abilities and attitude. No two employees are the same. Some may be very similar but no two are the same.  It is the masterful manager that knows they cannot be used or treated in exactly the same way.

The manger is the chess master. He has to identify and know the relative value of each employee to the team, the department, and the organization. When making assignments consideration should be to the employees “value”. It is the manger’s responsibility to use people in accordance with their value in achieving the goals that have been set by him/her and the organization. Those with more value are used with care and forethought as to what their use will mean in movement toward the goal. Those with less “value” are used in a different way. Some may be used ploddingly; some may be “sacrificed” to protect the employees of greater value. But each needs to be used in accordance with their value to the objective whatever that may be. There is a lot of strategy involved in management and the game is not straightforward.

The challenge for the manager in acting as a chess master is to move the employees toward the goals he has set for them without having them feeling used or manipulated. The human element must never be overlooked. Again, people are infinitely more complicated than game pieces and cannot and should not be made to feel like pawns. The employee is not a wooden object but a human being and should be accorded a measure of respect and dignity. This can complicate the move toward accomplishing your objectives. The manager has no small task but it can be accomplished through careful planning, the maintaining of good relationships with the employees, and constant open communication. Some managers master this, others do not. Those who master the strategy involved in managing people while achieving their work objectives become masters at the game.