Fairy Godmother or Fearless Leader

I have always liked using physical objects to illustrate my points. So in the photo attached to this article you will no doubt be able to recognize these two characters.  They come from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. If you’re too young to remember you’ll need to do a little research on the ‘net or better yet get the collections of the show on DVD and watch them. The “fairy” or “Fairy Godmother” is from the Fractured Fairy Tales portion of the show. The rather stern looking chap is “Fearless Leader” the hardnosed boss of the villains Boris Badanov and Natasha Fatale who were constantly seeking to cause trouble for our heroes “moose and squirrel”.

I’ve spent time in the management ranks and have experienced the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” that all managers have when dealing with staff. After many conversations with staff, experimentation on keeping staff “engaged” (read happy), and much reflection on all those experiences and interactions I’ve come to the considered opinion that your staff will see you in either one of two ways. You will either be seen as the kindly and benevolent “fairy godmother” type or you will be seen as the dictatorial, unreasonable “Fearless Leader” type.

Consider this. If you are good and kindly, not holding them accountable for high standards; granting them passes on regularly coming in late or leaving early; if you overlook their screw-ups and only give positive reinforcement or lavish praise on them for the smallest things done right; if you are seen as their “friend” and not eyed by them as an obstacle you become the “granter of wishes” i.e. their “fairy godmother”. You will be a harmless benevolent being whose purpose it is to serve them by granting their wishes—the desires of their hearts… in this case an easy set of circumstances at work that bends to their wished and desires.

 However, if you are business like, have high expectations of them and hold them to those expectations; if you ask them why they are late or question too closely their desire to leave early yet again; if you hold them accountable for their performance or lack thereof; if the feedback you give is not all positive and you hurt their feelings or offend their sensitivities; if you fail to notice and recognize even their smallest accomplishments and praise them lavishly for it; if you are “the boss” and not their friend; if you dole out punishment as a consequence of their actions;  if you are in some way an obstacle to their happiness—you are the unappreciative and mean, nasty, and oppressive S.O.B.—you are “Fearless Leader”.

Oh, your staff may not readily admit to their view of you but you can bet that these views are harbored by most anyone with a boss. It does not speak ill of your staff it speaks to human nature. We all tend to think in kinder terms of those who let us have our way and less so of those who stand between us and what we want.

But you may say “Isn’t that a rather simplistic if not jaded view of how employees see their supervisors and managers?”.  Or you may say “That way of thinking smacks of the old X and Y Theory of management”. You may be right … but that doesn’t make my observation wrong.

 In this day and age where employers chase “Best Places to Work Awards”; implement 360 degree evaluations as a “best practice”; conduct pulse surveys to see what their employees are thinking about a topic on a given moment; where Human Resource departments are concerned about creating workplace cultures that are “inclusive” and “employee friendly”, and fret over their ability to recruit the “right talent” and keep them “engaged” so they  don ‘t pick up their marbles and leave managers are increasing being nudged into the “fairy godmother” role.  This is especially true for managers that must deal with the later Gen X and Gen Y employees or where employees have developed a sense of entitlement and lack a realistic view of how the workplace functions.

You must be able to manage in the way your company wants you to manage. But in reality you cannot be all things to all people … so don’t even try. Just know that their perceptions of you will change as you either grant or deny their “wishes”.  As a manager in the types of organizations cited above you will be pressured to conform. You must be true to yourself. Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses as a manager. Be aware of your flaws; find ways to either overcome them or compensate for them. You should seek to build the skills and competencies it takes to mange effectively. But remember just as you need to seek ways to communicate, inspire, and manage each individual employee on your staff and move them toward top performance, just as you must adjust to them, your employees will have to adjust to you. The smart ones know that.

In your management career you will be a mix of both “Fairy Godmother” and “Fearless Leader”. Sometimes you will be both at the same time. But those views are just a matter of perception. Manage those perceptions to your benefit. Be yourself, always look towards improving your management skills, and take on both the Fairy Godmother and Fearless Leader roles as you need to. You can use them both to your advantage.

Manager as Chess Master

Growing up I always enjoyed the game of checkers. It was easy to learn and easy to gain at least a modicum of mastery over the strategy involved in playing the game. It was basically a game of attrition. Take all of your opponents men and you win. Even if you played with a different version of the rules you could quickly adjust your strategy because all your pieces and the pieces of your opponent moved the same. I learned quickly, became quite good and lost very few times.

A younger brother introduced me to the game of chess. A game I had always shied away from because I felt it was too complicated, too difficult to learn, and took too long to gain any mastery over whatsoever. It was a game, not of attrition but strategy. You didn’t try to lay waste to your opponent’s forces you tried to outmaneuver them. The pieces were all different, they moved in strange ways, and it wasn’t as predictable. I learned the peices, learned the moves, practiced my play, gained some level of skill, and my brother refused to play me any more.

One of the early lessons I learned when I first entered the management arena was the need for the effective use of your human capital, your staff. It is key to the success of the manager, the employees, and the enterprise. To be an effective manager you need to maximize your human capital by using them to their maximum potential for which they were intended (hired for). Knowing their capabilities and limitations enables you to place them in positions where they are most likely to be effective and where you can protect from their limitations and thus use them efficiently and effectively to accomplish your goals. You can think of this in terms of a board game. Think chess or checkers.

In checkers all the pieces have the same value, move the same way, are all vulnerable the same way, are all limited in the same way … until they reach the back row of the opponent and are “crowned (promoted) to “kings” .  At that time they take on new abilities and powers and are considered to be more valuable.

And so it is in the workplace. If an employee manages to run the gauntlet of his daily responsibilities, do it well, ward off the threats and attacks from his opponents in the workplace, he/she is eventually rewarded by some form of advancement or promotion and takes on more value. But the similarities end there. People are infinitely more complicated.

In chess all the pieces are not created equal. They have different values assigned to them. Some are worth more than others, some less than others. Their usefulness is determined by the ability they have to move, block, and threaten. The chess master knows how to use his pieces in ways that showcase their strengths and hide or minimize their weaknesses while accomplishing the goal of the game, the capture of the opponent’s king. The chess master uses his pieces in combination to complement their strengths and support their weaknesses in order to achieve the greatest effectiveness.

And again, so it is in the workplace. Each employee has a value relative to the cause/assignment/ goal of the manager but each employee’s value is different based on their skills, knowledge, abilities and attitude. No two employees are the same. Some may be very similar but no two are the same.  It is the masterful manager that knows they cannot be used or treated in exactly the same way.

The manger is the chess master. He has to identify and know the relative value of each employee to the team, the department, and the organization. When making assignments consideration should be to the employees “value”. It is the manger’s responsibility to use people in accordance with their value in achieving the goals that have been set by him/her and the organization. Those with more value are used with care and forethought as to what their use will mean in movement toward the goal. Those with less “value” are used in a different way. Some may be used ploddingly; some may be “sacrificed” to protect the employees of greater value. But each needs to be used in accordance with their value to the objective whatever that may be. There is a lot of strategy involved in management and the game is not straightforward.

The challenge for the manager in acting as a chess master is to move the employees toward the goals he has set for them without having them feeling used or manipulated. The human element must never be overlooked. Again, people are infinitely more complicated than game pieces and cannot and should not be made to feel like pawns. The employee is not a wooden object but a human being and should be accorded a measure of respect and dignity. This can complicate the move toward accomplishing your objectives. The manager has no small task but it can be accomplished through careful planning, the maintaining of good relationships with the employees, and constant open communication. Some managers master this, others do not. Those who master the strategy involved in managing people while achieving their work objectives become masters at the game.

Once when in the employ of a non-profit social service agency (touchy-feely type of place) I was called into the office of a vice president. He asked me to be seated and struck up a conversation concerning a recent meeting in which I had stated some strong opinions about the subject up for discussion. He assured me that my comments, while strong were nothing inappropriate for the type of meeting it was. However, feedback he received made it clear that some folks in the meeting were “uncomfortable” with my remarks and the conviction with which they were made. I reminded him that I had remained silent until directly asked and then asked him if what I said was wrong or off the mark in some way. His reply was “no, but” I had still made them feel uncomfortable.

Then he turned the topic of conversation to a complaint that had been made about me to the COO by another Director who was a long time friend of the COO. I had not given into a request by this Director to make use of one of my staff member whenever this Director felt the need to use her. In essence I had not given subjugated one of my human capital resources to the whims of her felt needs. Now I will be the first to tell you that I can be blunt at times. When asked my opinion I will give it in a forthright manner that will not always make you feel good. Also, I will readily admit to wanting to have a good deal to say about the resources given to me, especially when someone tries to appropriate them for their use without really consulting me.

The vice president then said these words “ I don’t disagree with what you said in the meeting and I know that the other Director is a bit of a whiner but she is friends with the COO but Emmett, you’re being perceived as uncooperative. You’re getting a reputation for …” Of course I was struck by these words. Me? Uncooperative? Me?  I assured him that it was not my intent to be uncooperative and then he said “but you’re being perceived that way and you know that perception is reality, it’s the perception that counts”.

I was a bit non-plused. As I started to offer a reply he cut me off and said “You should be thankful that I’m telling you this so that you are aware of how you are being perceived.” At that point I said nothing else. I knew that it would have been futile. Thanking him for taking the time to share this with me I turned and left.

You may have heard that old maxim before or you may have been told at one point in your career that “It’s perception that counts” or you may have heard it said or even been told “Perception is reality”. You may have had it used on you in a feedback meeting similar to mine. You may have heard it in a more positive vein.  I don’t know if you agree with the sentiments of those words. You may buy into the philosophy behind those words. A philosophy that really screams “We prefer style over substance”. 

“Perception is reality”. Agree with the statement or disagree with the statement, like what it implies or don’t like what it implies, it doesn’t matter.  What does matter for your career and for your sanity is that you recognize it as an operational truth. It operates as a fact to one degree or another in every work place, at all times. It is a fact in the work place even if it is not a fact that you except. After all your experience does not define reality … evidently the perception of other does.

So read this next part carefully, even slowly, then write it down and commit it to memory,
Perception is s not reality. Perception is just perception. Reality is reality. However, other people’s perceptions can define or control your reality. What you must do is control the perceptions of others so that you control your reality.

That’s right, agree or disagree with the statement and philosophy but learn to use it to improve your lot in the workplace and in life. How do you do that? The simple answer is by any means necessary.

The reality is you have to:

• be aware and observe
• be wise and think
• act and adjust accordingly

First, be aware and take stock and observe of your surroundings in general or a particular situation carefully. When in a work situation you need to be on the lookout for ask yourself, “ what is the culture”, “ who has the power, real power to affect your career both positively and negatively” You need to get a real feel for the company and department politics, get the lay of the land. Whose turf is it? Who likes who? Who dislikes who and why. Who is allied with who and why? Stay non-partial in this discovery phase. Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. Take it all in. The things you will observe all mean something. Very little that you see or hear will be happening by accident or coincidently. People in the work force, the wise ones any way, are all working their game plan to advance their careers, protect their careers, or squash an enemy or opposition to them or their plans.

Second, be wise. After taking in all the information, reflect on it, crank up the critical thinking skills and, as you reflect on all that you have observed, constantly ask yourself this question “What does this tell me?” After you have spent some time doing that it’s time to drill down a little further and ask yourself “What are the expectations?” Expectations both spoke and unspoken. Expectations regarding behavior amongst peers, towards the boss, behaviors in meetings, behavior at company functions, the expectations that will make you be perceived as a “good employee” and a “valuable member” of the team.

Finally, act and adjust accordingly. Once you have gathered the information through your observations and carefully orchestrated conversations with others, have spent time reflecting on what you have learned, and developed and understanding how you can use or apply what you have learned it is then time to put it all into practice. At this point you must make a decision. You have to decide how you want to be perceived. This is one of the few choices many of you will get to make in the work place.  Make it a wise choice because you will live with the consequences for good or for ill for a very long time. This choice will directly impact your career, your future advancement, and your job satisfaction. To quote Michael Coreleone in Godfather III “It’s the price you pay for the life you choose.”

If the expectations are, in your estimation worth adhering to, implement whatever changes you need to make quickly. Act decisively whatever it is. Change your dress. Upgrade you speech. Project a positive, can do attitude. Be seen doing the “right” things, whatever those may be. Make it a point to talk to the “right” people, whoever they may be. Make sure you are always on your best corporate behavior so that no one can say anything against you. The details I leave to you, the implementation is yours to figure out. But be sure to be perceived as you want to be perceived.

One last word of advice.  You should never go against your values. While you get to make the choice on how you want to be perceived, if you will play the game, and to want extent you will play the game. In the end you have to be able to look yourself in the face every morning and to live with your decisions. You also have to be able to pay your bills. There is a balance to be struck. And remember whatever your decision … “It’s the price you pay for the life you choose.”

 Me? What did I do? I took stock, made changes to what I was doing, changed their perception of me, and then started looking for a job that was a better fit for my values.