Recently, I was reading about the exodus of the Israelites from the land of Egypt and was struck by how often they complained about being taken from the land of Egypt to “die in this desert”. They had been delivered from slavery and oppression, shown miracles that aided in their deliverance, promised a land of their own, had been miraculously and amply provided for and yet complained bitterly about their circumstances. They longed for the former state of things, did not accept the change, only looked to the short term, and did not believe in the promises given to them by God. (Read Exodus chapters 14; 16; 17 and Numbers chapters 11; 14; 20 and 21) The price they paid for that was high. Ultimately the generation that escaped bondage in Egypt never came into possession of the Promised Land. They wandered in the wilderness for 40 years instead of making the two week trip to Canaan.
This struck me as how many people, perhaps you, react when you lose a job and are faced with transitioning to a new reality.
I know job loss can be difficult. I’ve been there a time or two myself. Job loss brings challenges you would rather not face. It bruises the ego and causes financial stress. It can place strains on personal relationships. In a job loss situation it is always tempting to curse your current circumstances while looking back upon what you have lost and wishing you still had it.
While it is natural to look back and long for your previous job and wish that you had back what was taken away from you, it is rarely healthy for you to do so. Looking back longingly does not help you accept the change and does not help you move through the transition.
Looking back and wishing you were still in that position often skews your memories about that former situation. You begin to forget what you didn’t like about the job, the work, the petty politics, the back stabbing co-worker, the micromanaging boss. Your memories of daydreaming about, wishing for or actively pursuing other positions begin to fade. Your desire to return to your former state corrupts your memories and you excuse those things in favor of the memory of a steady paycheck, regular interaction with your peers, the ability to actually answer the question “So where do you work?” without having to fumble over your answer. Instead of seeing it as a “deliverance” you only see your new circumstances as a burden.
Once you have experienced job loss, for whatever reason, do not look back, do not spend your time wishing you were back in your previous circumstances, and do not disparage the circumstances you find yourself in. Accept the new circumstance as the current state and begin to do what you need to do in order to transition to a new state of circumstances, a new (and better) career.
As you experience the initial change from employment to unemployment the sooner you can accept the loss and put it into perspective the sooner you will be able to begin the transition process. The sooner you begin to work through the transition process the quicker you will enter in to the next phase of your career that will lead to you to new employment.
By accepting the change and coming to terms with it as the end of the old way, you can move forward to the transition process. During the transition process you can continue to heal from the loss, gain some perspective on your situation, plan for your job search, accept your new circumstances, and move forward with your new life.